TWO BAGS & A DOG

Aurevoir?

2011-03-28T19:19:00.000-07:00

It's been interesting.......but I've been way too 'closed up' with this blog. Time to move on.....but I'll leave this here for nostalgic reasons.

Now moved to http://www.tumblr.com/tumblelog/2-bags-and-a-dog

So it's not really 'aurevoir'........see u on 'the other side'.

xxx

From Junk To Funk

2011-03-23T05:58:00.000-07:00

A whopper of a storm blew into Bangkok this morning. It was POUNDING down outside (I forgot how much more dramatic storms are from beneath a tin roof!) Trust me, it was wild. If this blog post had sound effects you'd be worried for me!
Anywaaaay, I was going to spend the day indoors feeling guilt free about not going out - because rainy days do that. But instead I went to my friend's house and helped him turn a 1970's truck windscreen he picked up for free at a scrap metal yard here in Bangkok, into a tres cool retro coffee table!

First we laid the windscreen (windshield) on a small table (while I shoved pineapple down my throat apparently).

Then we soaked the old bits of glue and shit, from old stickers that had been on there, with boiling water-soaked rags and followed that with a good scrub and scrape with a couple of razor blades.

Menu, the lady who sells Somtum's daughter, watched intently whilst sucking on a dirty 20baht note.

And now it's standing to dry, all clean and sparkly!

Pictures by Liam Morgan

I'll post the finished product after my friend's finished making the stand. We're having visuals of a golden gun laying on it though, with a jar of Nutella beside it. Yes, we are having rather pimp visions. Aren't you?

AND HERE'S (nearly) THE FINISHED PRODUCT!!! Well.....he has to build the stand yet....but not bad for a start INNIT!

Quote of the Week Ya Freak!

2011-03-10T00:10:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I told you about the pharmacy already.
I had to go back......multiple times......for various things. You know how it is - one thing goes and the rest shits the bed along with it!
Anyway, so I'm going to translate the conversation I had with the pharmacist in Thai, to English:

M=ME!!!
P=PHARMY
PD= PHARMY'S DAUGHTER

M: Hi, can I have something soothing to suck (ahem).
P: Yes, here you are. And why do you live around here? Why don't you live in the nice part of town?
M: I like it here, and it's cheaper than where all the other expats live.
P: But, there are so many people doing bad things here.
M: Ummm, oh, you mean the prostitues?
P: No, they're earning honest cash. They're not a problem. I mean the people who take drugs.
M: Oh? Well, I don't really see them and I don't care either. You get that in any city.
I really don't see them - I think you're a bit too worried about me. I'm really fine! I love it here!
P: But, you do know you live in a phhrrrrbbbrrrmingbingbong, don't you?
M: Sorry, I don't understand that word. What do you mean?

Then the pharmacist fetched her daughter who could speak English and this is also where THE QUOTE OF THE DAY comes into this blabber:

PD: You know, you live in a SLUM.

This actually made my week!
In truth, I do live in a poorer area of Bangkok called Thonburi. I live near Wongwian Yai, which translates as "Big roundabout" and there is one. It's MASSIVE. Granted, we don't have the Versace stores, Starbucks or overpriced fried rice you can get on the other side of the river from me - but you can take a river taxi, which is not only a very reasonable (shit cheap) 10 baht, but also makes you feel like you're taking part in a Bruce Lee movie and you don't get stuck in any of the city's traffic jams, not to mention the breeze!
But, I have to say, I love it over here! It's literally 10 minutes from the centre. I live in the middle of a Muslim (southern), Isaan and Chinese neighborhood and reep the benefits of this when it comes to culture and cuisine that's cooked with loving care, rather than the heartless food that's chugged out for the millions of drunk people passing through on their whirlwind tour of S.E. Asia.

So ghetto or not, I love it SICK! I've never felt more safe nor welcome than I do here. It truly feels like home and therefore I am proud to say "I LOVE MY SLUM!"

Here are some pictures to show you why:

Goat Throat Pharmy Fun!

2011-03-07T02:11:00.000-08:00

YUCK. I have goat throat. A chest infection. Since I had pneumonia a couple of years ago in Taiwan, someone only has to so much as sniffle near me and I end up sick as a fuckin.....sick person.
I went to the pharmacy yesterday (same thing as going to the doctors here only cheaper and more fun!) and Aunty Pharmy threw a bunch of antibiotics at me and some Thai things that you suck and they numb your mouth. They're in a packet with a giraffe on them, so I can make a visual connection there - BONUS! Long neck - throat - throat sweets! TA-DAAA!!! I can't tell you how second nature it's become to just accept whatever pills they throw at me and to just shove them down my throat as I'm directed to do. Sometimes it's in a language I understand (Thai for example) but sometimes it's not and I have to decide what the numbers and marks mean that the pharmy scribbled on the bag they gave them to me in.
"Aaaaaah, yes, one tablet twice a day. Or is that the date? Or could that be the price? Oh fuck it, I'll just take TWO." and ignore the little voice in the back of my head that says "Oh let them have codeine in them as an added treat!"

The 'Kok

2011-03-05T21:58:00.000-08:00

Yep! So here I am. Finally settled in Bangkok after a month of hell in Nha Trang (Vietnam) and a lovely visit to Singapore. I can't write much at the moment as I'm still waiting for the internet to be blessed upon my recently acquired 'shack'. But for now I'll give you some visuals so you can make your own assumptions as to what I'm up to!

Update YO

2011-01-21T21:36:00.001-08:00

OK ok.......I have to update this thing. Since I last wrote I've visited London, Manchester, Nha Trang in Vietnam and now I'm living in Bangkok. And now I shall start to write again....sorry....just been BUSY!

Summer's over

2010-10-02T04:40:00.000-07:00

Some beautiful black and whites my friend took while visiting for the summer.......

Brussels/Bruxelles

2010-09-02T01:50:00.000-07:00

A beautiful city. Again, urban/medieval mix. I really dig. I avoided the temptations of warm sticky, crunchy, soft waffles with fresh chocolate and whipped cream slathered all over them and the lure of the scent of frietjes wafting from the frituurs. I live in Belgium now, so sampling these fried and fabulous delights on a daily basis is something my waistline, heart and skin will not allow!
Unfortunately I can't give you much of the history of this stunning city, as I did allow myself one little big refreshing delight on this warm sunny day......pintjes! So my head was a little hazy and off with the medieval fairies and modern day tarts I watched strutting by....!

Hope you enjoy the few pics I managed to snap whilst still semi present....!

It's supposed to be good luck if you rub this statue. Personally, I was more concerned with the antibacterial hand wash I didn't have in my handbag. HA!

Tin Tin, known in Flemish as Kuifje (meaning: Little Quiff).

Medieval Bouillon!

2010-08-31T08:44:00.000-07:00

Miss Citroen

2010-08-26T03:20:00.000-07:00

This is my friend's car, but I want it really badly. So I posed next to it for this picture, and whilst posing, I was really imagining it was mine........SIGH.......

More shots of my 'hood

2010-08-18T05:32:00.000-07:00

I love the mix of medieval and modern in this city!

Dribble over THIS

2010-08-18T05:09:00.000-07:00

I was pervin' over vintage bikes online and came across this DEMON temptress. Words cannot express quite how badly I want it.
*Sadly can't remember the blog I found it on (sorry!) but if I find it again, I'll add it to this post.

Gastronomic orgasm in Oostende

2010-08-11T04:12:00.000-07:00

Not very interesting, but it's all I can muster for now.

2010-08-11T02:32:00.000-07:00

This email I sent a friend today is probably the best summary of what's happening with me and I'm hoping will spur me back into this whole blogging thing again. I've been so busy, searching for work (and having fun) and trying to make arrangements for my little Astro (my dachshund) to be flown over, that I kind of have let my online life fizzle.

So! Read on, digest, and I shall make a promise to myself and you that I will write on here once a week, or at least post visuals.

Email sent today:

Oh. My. GOD. SMITH!?!?!?!? I totally forgot you had spying capabilities on him!!!! DOG MEAT!?!?!? Oh my, he's LOST it. Lost it. More than before. And writing that he woke to his floor being covered in ganja on his status!?!?! How OLD is he!?!?! Or should I ask, how tragic is he?

Oh I love it, I love it. I wonder if you'll ever bump into him before you split from Bangkok?

Your (my old) boss is tragic, too. I'm SO GLAD you're telling him to shut up: treat me like an imbecile, treat you like an imbecile. What a wank wod.

Oh yes and the power does cut out a lot. But that's happened in every school I've worked in so far. Asia can't handle the aircon en masse.

I'm drinking a really weak coffee. Urgh. Ran out of coffee beans, but I can't not have a coffee at brekko.

Well....the interview I had yesterday was very nice. It's just a case of me sitting and waiting for a position to arise and then start. Unfortunately the new semester doesn't start till September, but if I could get the promise of some work, that would at least be something to get me off my feet.

You'd approve of my interview outfit! It's a vomit up of well mixed colours, right down to the baby blue nail varnish! The lady said "Did you send us your cv already?" when I first showed up unannounced. I said "No, but I thought seeing me in person might be more memorable than just another cover letter and CV."

She said "You walked here in those red heels? Oh we'll remember you!"

I took it as a positive statement, going by her huge smile and eyes feasting on my pink and blue CV!

So, we'll see, we'll see.

Oh! A friend of ours came over last night to feed us! He'd made fresh pesto and it was DIVINE! I got very drunk and acted a slightly pathetic, but that's OK. Drunk dialed people ate more food than I care to think about etc etc.

OURMAN. What a rankoid. He is SO wrong. And his website is FUGLY. Him and his overly out of focus poor quality photos. Ick!

Trying SO HARD to make a picture of the drained lake look romantic. TWATMAN should be his Twitter name.

Funny how I never even knew anything about the guy, but he managed to track me down, insult me and still infuriate me. HAARGH! And, I burped a laugh out when I read your line "Oh I LOVE someone to hate." HAAARGH! Hallelujah!!! ME TOO!!!! HAHAAARGH!!!

Anyway....I'm going to pretend that I didn't get drunk last night and that I don't have a hangover and that this coffee isn't gnat piss.

And of course I hope all's well with you.

Ok, lots of love xxx

Gentse Feesten!!! (Ghent Festival, Belgium)

2010-07-22T08:28:00.000-07:00

The Ghent Festival is a 10 day festival that takes place in the city of Ghent in belgium (my new home!!!) for 10 days, every July. I'll write more later about what goes on, although a lot of it will be impossible to explain, but here are some visuals to keep you going for now.

What a trip to Ikea for 2 mosquito nets in accidentally matching outfits can turn into

2010-07-13T05:03:00.000-07:00

Ghent

2010-07-13T04:41:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my new home!!! Ghent, in Belgium.

Camping!

2010-06-18T08:06:00.000-07:00

Yo! I'm going camping in The Adirondacks for the weekend and I shall take photos and fill you in on any excitement, or just cool places to go camping and hang out.

THEN, I'm moving to Ghent in Belgium, in July. So more pics and stories to be told from that destination. Sooooooo........until next week, ciao ciao and some stories are to come! xxx

Die Antwoord

2010-06-14T05:44:00.000-07:00

Currently can't get enough of this...

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FUCK

2010-06-11T12:37:00.000-07:00

I just got all A.D.D. & fucked with the settings on this blog and now it looks like a bland ugly boring poop stain. I want my OLD background back, but I'm too over it to do it now. So apologies, and the old gaudy background will be back soon :-(

GRRRRRRRR

[3 days later]

OK......I've tried my best. My head's spinning a little lately with some stuff that's going on in life, so hopefully this new look to my blog will represent a new look to my life....? HA! Woh.

Anyway, any comments, complaints, disses or love are welcome!

Wicked chicks

2010-06-09T12:47:00.000-07:00

From top to bottom:
Alice of Crystal Castles, Yo Landi of Die Antwoord and Roisin Murphy.

My veggie patch

2010-06-08T13:28:00.000-07:00

Here are some veggies & herbs that are happily growing in my garden!

Tomatoes

Basil

Cilantro

(Now I get confused, cos a big rain washed away some of the tags, so I'm not sure exactly which is which, but I'll do my best!!!)

I think this is cabbage

And these are definitely the chili pepper plants

This is either broccoli or brussel sprouts

Ermmmmmmm.........

All home grown and organic. Pretty cool, don't you reck?!

Ricotta and Lemon Birthday Cakey

2010-06-08T13:05:00.000-07:00

I was supposed to take more photos of this fabulous birthday cake I made for my boyfriend on the weekend. All I have is this photo with the cake in it with me and his best friend kissing him!
I got the recipe for this insanely delicious Ricotta and Lemon cake from Broxholm Road blog. I think a friend sent it to me, as she knew I'd like it, but I don't know that she realised it's an old Italian fave of mine. My father's from Italy and I spent half of my childhood there visiting rels. At easter time we would have this ricotta a lemon cake that tasted very much like this recipe on the Broxholm Road blog.

So, I made the cake in two round tins and added a filling/topping. Off hand I made a lemony zesty cream cheese frosting. Oh yes!

I simply took your average 8oz block of cream cheese, about 2 table spoons of softened butter and free poured about 3 - 4 cups of powdered icing sugar. I creamed them all together and added, like, 2 teaspoons of vanilla essence. Then I scraped a whole lemon's zest into the mix, then squeezed in the juice. Only squeeze as much juice as you feel you need. Whip up all the ingredients so it's all nicely blended and a bit fluffy.
Add more powder to thicken, add more lemon juice to loosen. You can also put the mix in the fridge to solidify it slightly, making it easier to spread without any dripping.

I put lemon jam I bought from the farmers market in the centre and the cream cheese frosting all over the outside.

And it was divine!

COLON CLEANSE!!! Yah....part 2

2010-05-28T04:05:00.000-07:00

Well the cleanse has been going great so far, I have to say! To be honest, I've completely forgotten what day I'm on of it, I think my fourth? I've been feeling so good that I kind of forgot to take note of things, have been staying pretty much away from the computer, and spending more time doing outdoorsy things.
Suffice to say, my lethargy is GONE.

So on Wednesday, I think it was day two. I was feeling not too great. I went to the loo and did an unsatisfactory shit and spent the rest of the day feeling very tired and almost woozy. I did, though, go out into the sun a couple of times and ride my bike to town, which is only a few minutes away, but it does say in the leaflet and on the CD that comes with Perfect Cleanse, that you should relax, do "light" exercise and pretty much take it easy for the duration. They do point out that the first couple of days you may feel light headed and tired. So I felt it was OK.

WEDNESDAY
Ok, so for breakfast I ate the same as before; Greek yoghurt, almonds, raisins and pumpkin seeds.
For lunch my boyfriend and I went to the health food store and ate from their fabulous vegetarian buffet there. For dinner I used Moonglowlounge's Poached Orange Roughy in a Veggie Broth w/ Edamame & Mint recipe with a green salad. Stunning.

I took the pills in the evening, as you're supposed to, but I felt suddenly very nauseous and sleepy. It was only 7pm. I tried to stay awake, but the headache that suddenly pinged into my head was unbearable and I didn't want to take any pills for it, because that would defy the whole point of the bloody detox. So I passed out and woke up in time for the fabulous heat breaking storm we had around midnight. I didn't sleep well at all that night. My stomach was bloated like a dairy cow's udders, my boobs were swollen and my night slip wouldn't fit over my stomach, I was that bloated. And I knew it was all water retention. I woke every hour on the hour and had to do these almighty pees.

Ah, and yes, I pumped, PUMPED, water throughout the entire day. I think I drank at least 14 cups of water.

THURSDAY
Even though I didn't sleep at all, I still got up at 7am and by 8am I'd done a somewhat satisfying round of bowel movements. There were three, all within the space of about 10 minutes and they were a wild array of colours! Ha!
That excited me. Instantly I felt better. My stomach had flattened to a normal state and I ate my usual breakfast of Greek yoghurt etc. For lunch yesterday I wasn't at home, we were out and about (see, I didn't sleep, but I was out and about and feeling great!) so we stopped at.....Moe's. Ahem. Yah. BUT! I got a vegetarian junior burrito, ate half of it (cos at Moe's that really is all you need - if you have the self control!)
By the time I got home, I got that stuffed up feeling again, like I needed to shit. So I had half a glass of prune juice to help things along and fuck did it help! HAARGH! I swear to fuckery, I did 4 more poops of varying colour and consistency. To see all of that coming out....woh....sorry.....but guys, it really does excite me and make me want to scream out loud that everyone should do a colon cleanse!!!!!!!
All that rank shit built up inside you, making you sloth like, lethargic, probably stale breathed and just not really feeling that good. Also, making your tummy, arms, boobs (if you have boobs!), thighs or even your face appear bloated. Honestly.....I was shocked at what came out of me and I'm glad it did!

I then decided to not do too much physical stuff and went to the park near my house and sunbathed for a while. Basically, I had a very cruisey rested kinda day. Hung out on the veranda and chatted with friends. Didn't spend much time on the computer at all.

So then it came to dinner time. I was kind of dreading taking the pills and drinking the fibre, because of how rank it'd made me feel the day before. For dinner I had the other half of ma Moe's and with it I had a big green salad with an avocado thrown in there for good measure.
I felt a little gross after drinking the fibre drink, which you drink after your meal. But after half an hour or so I felt great again!
By 11pm I was ready to take my little dog for a nice walk around the hood! Don't forget, I really didn't sleep that night, yet still felt spritely enough for an 11pm stroll! So in my eyes, the detox is doing great!

No sleep, yet feeling fabulous!

So now it's Friday. I slept very well from about midnight, then woke at 5am feeling healthier than a shot of wheat grass!!!
I've had breakfast and a warmed half glass of prune juice. I just think it extra helps. I'm a super constipated little bitch, so fuck it. And I've done some reading and it seems it's quite common for people to do this on a colon cleanse. After all, the aim is to get it out naturally.

So it's Memorial Day weekend, which, if memory serves me well and going by the amount of people who've emailed me and said they'll be seeing me this weekend for my BBQ (!!??!!), means there's gonna be quite a bit of "SIN" going on. So this little ho's gonna get her party boots on. Cos sometimes I find it too hard to say no.

So tonight I'll not take the pills etc. I'll not do any partying or consume anything over glutinous and I certainly won't drink any booze, cos I'm scared I'd straight up shit myself in my faux leather pants! But I will surely be taking part in the BBQ and S'mores and so on and no doubt a Margarita here and there over Saturday through Monday! So I'll continue the detox another time.

Is that lame? I don't care!!!!!!!

Romeo & Juliette: If Juliette had a sassy gay friend

2010-05-27T11:41:00.000-07:00

Fuckin hillarious!

COLON CLEANSE!!! Yah....

2010-05-26T06:12:00.000-07:00

So I've started doing this cleanse already, but was inspired by moonglowlounge to 'roughly' document it on here. I'm on my second day. I take the pills at night and then all day I pump water and try to eat as healthily as possible, and I've been eating pretty small sized portions also.

I'm using Perfect Cleanse, a product I've read about and was advised to use by the lady at the health food store. There are so many to choose from, I kind of just went for it. I've read good and bad reviews about it and have just decided that like tattoos, our different body types deal with healing in different ways.
When I started using this, it was after a LOOOOOONG week of partying and all sorts of rambunctious behaviour. I also had a serious case of not being able to shit, which was in turn giving me water retention from HELL. Which in turn again turned me into a bitch from Hell.
This always happens to me when I visit western countries. Especially America, where I get all excited about things like bacon and cheese and fuckin Dunkin Donuts and parties and parties and burgers and meat and parties! oh, and OH, the MEXICAN food!

It's just a shock to my system after living in Asia for so many years. I enjoy the binge, but there's gotta be a time to stop. I chose that time when I couldn't fit into one of my dresses, not because I don't exercise regularly and pump water at the rate of a wild banshee, I just retained so much water that it had all sorts of effects of my constitution, but the parties kept partying and I had to have an excuse to say no! So I chose a colon cleanse.

Anyway! Enough of that. Here's what's happened so far:

Night one, I took the pills, slept. Woke up still feeling full of shite (some people might say that's a given!) But I could feel some things going on down in my gut. Not painful! But definite gassy sensations. I knew my condition was pretty bad as far as being bunged up was concerned, and Perfect Cleanse claims to be a gentle way of doing this. So I presumed I was too much for the little darling and needed some more work!

So, at breakfast I ate a banana, almonds and a dollop of Greek yoghurt. I think I'm not supposed to do dairy, but fuck. It was a dollop.

I cut out my rudimentary morning coffee (AAAARRRRGH!!!)
And am doing as it advises in the leaflet and on the website and am pumping water. I'm lucky here, I get the fresh spring water from the.......spring! I go fill up 3 huge bottle things every week. So it's super healthy clean and pure water.

At lunch I ate boiled jiaozi. Leftovers from yesterday. I'd put them in the fridge and couldn't bare to see them go to waste! They were full of cabbage, so presumed it wasn't such a bad thing? (How can jiaozi be a bad thing!)

I then snacked on a mango in the afternoon.

For dinner I ate a green salad with spinach in there, some carrot, onion, raisins and almonds, with a little lemon and olive oil drizzled on it.

I pumped water throughout.

I've woken this morning after peeing all night long. I think I got up every 2 hours. I've got a 'sparrow's bladder' as my Grandad used to tell me! So this is no surprise, and I was honestly hooning water like it was going out of fashion. I woke this morning feeling kind of tired cos of the amount of times I got up and pissed, but I honestly felt way more spritely than I have these last few weeks. I haven't shat yet, which is sorely disappointing, BUT, a lot of my water retention has gone and I'm feeling and looking very different! I'm not doing this to lose weight, I don't need to. I exercise regularly and seem to have a very high metabolism. But I honestly couldn't fit a dress over me yesterday due to rank bloating and today I tried it on and it slipped over me beautifully!

So....I guess it's doing something, right?

Either way, it's forcing me into being healthier and more conscious about what I'm consuming. That in itself is a good thing!

I'll update on what happens today later. I hope you enjoyed reading about my colon. HAAARGH! But honestly, so far, I'm feeling pretty great!

I'm off for a bike ride with my dog before the sun gets too hot!

Oh me it's All-Mighty

2010-05-25T13:59:00.000-07:00

Very much want this wicked outfit. I love a clash case, such as this Mighty Man T-shirt & floral waist high skirt.

Jiaozi-licious recipe!

2010-05-25T11:20:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I finally got to making them. I took photos, but as you'll see as you read on - they're pretty ugly, but I just want to share this (and probably more in the future) recipe with you, because as you can tell, I am fuckin obsessed with dumplings.

I will warn that this process does take some time and patience the first couple of times you do it, but it's utterly worth it in the end when you're shoveling them down your throat. And I have to say, seeing them bobbing around the boiling water, then sliding into the bowl, just like I used to see them do in China and Taiwan, makes me wanna piss myself with joy.

These are cabbage jiaozi that I made, but don't forget you could substitute that with any meat you like or whatever filling you like!
My friend and her Tibetan fella were making cheese and broccoli dumplings, another friend has them as a sweet and stuffs them with chocolate then pours cream all over them! So do with this recipe as you fancy.

Ok, here goes...

Ingredients

For the dough

3 cups all purpose flour
up to 1 1/4 cups of water
1/4 teaspoon of salt

For the filling

a chunk of cabbage
1/4 of an onion
3 garlic cloves
ginger to taste
salt & pepper to taste
1 tbl spoon Hoi Sin sauce
1 tbl spoon rice wine vinegar (or balsamic or red sherry vin. works fine)
1 tspn of soy sauce

The dipping sauce

soy sauce
Hoi Sin sauce
chili oil
sesame oil
rice wine vinegar
garlic
ginger

Method to my ways!

Ok, so first off make the dough. Put the flour and salt in a big mixing bowl, or whatever you've got. SLOWLY stir in the water. Try one cup first, maybe you'll need a little more, but don't exceed 1 1/4 cups as the dough will be too sticky.

As you're stirring (I do mine by hand, don't have a mixer) it should look something like this:

When you've finished stirring, flour the work surface well where you'll be kneading it. Gather the mix in your hands and shape it into a kind of circle. Then place it on the floured surface and knead it until it's smooth. Something like this:

As you can see, mine wasn't entirely 'smooth', but I was hungry and wanted to get on with it. My point is, don't stress about any of it. It's piss easy.

Ok, so place a cloth over the bowl and set it aside.

Now to make the filling.
Cut off a chunk of cabbage. I'd say just less than a quarter of one. You don't need too much filling as the amount you can put in each dumpling is very little.
Cut the cabbage into think slices, turn it sideways and cut across, making small teeny tiny pieces. You want the filling to be chopped as finely as you can tolerate standing there chopping for!
Do the same with the garlic, onion and ginger. Throw it all in the bowl. Mix in the Hoi Sin sauce, soy sauce, vinegar, salt and pepper. Give it a good stir. It should look something like this:

(Told you my photos weren't pretty! HA!)

Right, so now take the dough. Put it on a floured surface and make a rectangle with it, about an inch and a half thick I suppose. Then cut it into about 5 pieces.
Put four pieces aside and roll out one of them to make a big circle. This bit's quite annoying, cos you want the dough to be as thin as you can be arsed to make it. It pays if it's really thin though, the jiaozi taste so much less floury and doughy and more authentically thin and lush. But if you're planning on frying them, you can afford to make them a little thicker if you wish.
Then take a small glass of something with a circle on it that can cut into the dough. Not too big!!! Just about the size of the palm of your hand, no bigger! Like this:

Cut out the circles and put them in a floured pile:

Now you should start feeling like a proper old Chinese lady or man and are getting excited about stuffing them.

After you've finished cutting out as many circles as you can bear, take the mixture you made for the filling. Take just less than half a tea spoon, place it in the middle of a disc. Pinch the middle two ends of the dumpling, then pinch the left edge, then the right. Then continue to pinch it so it's properly sealed. I couldn't take photos of that cos it takes two hands. Sorry. But here's what they look like after the stuffing!

Now you have jiaozi!

To boil cook them simply boil up a big saucepan of water, drop them in gently one at a time. Boil them for about 4 mins, or until they're bobbing on the surface!

To shallow fry them (I learnt this in Taiwan) heat a frying pan or wok up on a high heat. Pour in some oil, not too much (vegetable oil or sesame oil) gently drop the dumplings in and hear them ssssizzle. Let them sit there for a minute, then pour in 1/4 a cup of water. Put the lid on. Cook for about 5 mins bringing them down to a medium heat until water evaporates & dumplings are nicely browned underneath. This way they crisp on the underside and steam on top. It's VERY yummy!

Or you could just drop them in a deep fat fryer I guess?!

For the dip you can use whatever you like. Personally I like a spicy tangy sauce, so I put soy sauce, Hoi Sin sauce, rice wine vinegar (or lime), chopped garlic, chopped ginger, a dash of sesame oil and a lot of chili oil in a small bowl.
Alternatively you can use Sriracha hot chili sauce with some soy sauce. I do that when I don't have the other ingredients.

Well, I hope you have a go at making these soon! It's fun to do alone, but also I like getting my friends involved. Kind of like a Jiaozi Making Train.

Either way get yer chopsticks out and enjoy!

(This recipe was adapted from worldfoodieguide)

Dumpling reminder

2010-05-24T03:54:00.000-07:00

Today IS the day. I've finally gotten my shit together and am making my dear dumplings/jiaozi/pot stickers! I'll take pics as I go and write down the recipe etc., cos I think everyone needs a dumpling in their lives.
Here's another picture of some divinely steamed pork jiaozi from our local steaming jiaozi shop in Taiwan. Unfortunately I don't have any from China as I didn't have a camera in those days :-(

Words

2010-05-22T17:45:00.000-07:00

Here are a some words I think have lost their gusto due to over usage:

awsome
epic
amped
sooooo excited
love
bipolar

Strong enough?

2010-05-17T07:50:00.000-07:00

Since being in America, the land of my lover, I seem to be dissatisfied with only one thing so far.

Coffee.

Lili, a friend of mine in Vietnam (who knows her taste buds) did say that I would be unsatisfied with the weak shit they'd serve up here, and me, being defensive, argued that that wasn't the case.

Hmmmmm. I can be such a prick.

A first I was impressed, as B (my boyfriend) had a bag of stunning Peruvian coffee his mum had brought back with her from her travels to S.America. YUM! But then we ran out. Shit. But I remembered I'd bought a kilo of coffee beans at Cafe Duy Tri just before I left Nam, so whipped out the stunning sack of dark yum, threw the beans into the grinder and for a month we had nice, strong, brain bending cups of coffee.

Now it's run out. Poop.

So, anyone got any advice on where to get decent coffee here in the good ol' U.S. of A? Because I refuse to believe I can't get any.

Anyway, I'll leave you with this visual of me & one of my fave glasses of Viet coffee served up at Cafe Nola.....icey, strong as fuckery, sweet & quite pretty!
In Vietnam, along with many other countries such as Laos, Venezuela & Thailand, coffee's served drip styles, takes like 10 minutes. It's thick, dark & syrupy and a dollop of sweet condensed milk is left sitting at the bottom, which you stir in until it's sweet enough for you. You can see this in the picture below and the yummy froth on top. Sweet caffeinated deliciousness!

Farmers Market

2010-05-12T14:22:00.000-07:00

Today I rode my bike to the Saratoga Springs farmers market and bought some stunning fresh food for really not a lot of money. Among the goods I bought (which included a freshly laid today pack of a dozen eggs for ONE DOLLAR) I purchased these rather pretty rainbow carrots!

I also think making your own compost is super cool! I keep mine in a pretty glass jar on the side of the kitchen counter, so even the laziest bastards can fling their egg shells, banana skins, coffee, hair cuttings and whatever else in there for me to put in the compost bin.

Worms fall from the sky guy

2010-05-11T13:42:00.000-07:00

My housemate came home the other night from visiting his mum on Mother's Day. Personally I don't go for all that crap. I know I don't have a mum anymore, but even when I did, she thought it was a bunch of Hallmark bullshit and that was the end of that.

Anyway.

So my housemate came home and said his sister and her boyfriend/father of her child, were there. I asked what the boyfriend/father of the kid was like and he said that first off he's into some kind of "religion" where they think they have invisible bar codes on the back of their necks. They believe when "the time cometh" that the people without the barcodes will be fucked and they, with barcodes, will waltz into Heaven with gift vouchers!
I made the gift vouchers thing up, but you catch my drift.
I asked "Religion or cult?"
He replied "Whatever, it's weird."
Then he said "Oh yeah, and there're some things I find really annoying about him. Just little things."
(LITTLE THINGS)
"Like what?" I asked.
He then goes on to tell me how this guy (his soon to be brother in law) thinks that when it rains, worms fall from the sky.

Oh?

My friend said that he's argued this with him till he's blue in the face, but there's no telling this guy that worms are in the ground and it's just that when it rains they surface.
No. This guy is adamant that they fall from the sky.

And then my housemate got on with his food and acted as if this was just a little annoying thing and that apart from the cult, the worms falling from the sky and the other apparently 'little annoying things' he believes or does, are just the norm.

Are they!?

How would you feel if your sister was seeing this guy?

Love you LONG time

2010-05-06T07:03:00.000-07:00

How could I not share this?

Lacroix! HOW MUCH?

2010-05-04T04:38:00.000-07:00

The best $2.50 I ever spent in Hanoi was in a second hand store on Xuan Dieu Street. It was on these vintage Christian Lacroix heels. So no matter where you are, keep yer eyes open, cos you never know what you'll find.
I love them sick.

(Note to self: learn how to remove date from camera. It's ugly.)

Poodle Skirt Obsession

2010-05-03T16:48:00.000-07:00

I've been rockin around in this little number for the last........YEAR. It's just too comfortable and groovy and damn fuckin HOT not to!

The skirt's an exact remake of a vintage poodle skirt I wore to death. I had it made in Vietnam, so only cost about $3.00, but I'm sure you could find someone to help you, if you can't do it yourself. I think most chicks need more than one wicked swirly poodle skirt.

The little heels I bought at a vintage store in Arizona somewhere. They're Italian and leather and woven and gorgeous!

And the black and gold fat chain......ummmmmmm.....sorry, got that at TJ Max. Reduced from $44 to $14.

(sometimes I switch the heels for causal rubber flip flops or little white ping pong trainers/sneakers)

Anyway! My point is that I think everyone should have a go at wearing a poodle skirt! They're pretty, they're comfortable, they're easy to tuck into your knickers when you're on the bicycle, they're great for pulling up between your legs so no-one can see your breakfast when getting your leg over a motorbike or fence, they're great for getting off a bus on a long journey and peeing by the side of the road without the locals clocking anything, they're girly, tough, fabulous, airy, casual, classy AND they just look FUCKIN PRETTY!

Dumplings COMING UP!

2010-05-01T16:55:00.000-07:00

Ok, I have a camera, so this week I'll be making Chinese dumplings (my beloved jiaozi) & will photograph the entire thing!
And yes, I'll be making them from scratch, and I mean I'll be making the dough WITHOUT a ruddy mixer.
For now I'll leave you with a pretty visual to drool over:

I ❤ my dog & my bike

2010-05-01T15:11:00.000-07:00

Fire?

2010-04-28T04:06:00.000-07:00

Here are a couple of emails I sent out from ma days in Nam. I've taught in many a fucked up scenario of a school, but this one seemed fairly 'normal', until we had our fire drill.....

At school today we're having out first ever fire alarm practice. OH..........MY..........GOD.

When I asked "Oh, so, what do we do? Where do we gather?"

One fellow teacher said "Practice to run!"

Then the head of my department told me that they're setting fire to some rubbish at the entrance to the school. They're locking that door, so we all have to 'run' out of the side door. A very small door it is. At the side of the school.

SO.......they're actually going to MAKE A fire, light it outside the entrance of the school, lock the door & force us to squirm 200 kids and 50 teachers out of a side door. In a country that doesn't have the word "queue" in it's vocabulary.

I told them that in most instances I'd presume a fire in a school might be in the science lab or kitchen. Not out side at the front entrance. They all looked at me blankly.

Then I said "What about if there's actually a fire one day? The kids are all going to rush for the side entrance - the one that's 'between the kitchen and the science lab'.

Then I sent this, about the actual fire alarm itself:

So....I wrote telling you about the 'fire drill practice' at my school yesterday. Now I'm gonna tell you what happened. Oh my fuck.

So the alarm went off for about 3 seconds and it was really quiet, so nobody noticed it at first. Then all of a sudden (cos the teachers in the classrooms must've said to the kids it was the fire alarm - I was in the office) there was this almighty ROAR and SCREAMS of the kids AND teachers (bearing in mind the teachers knew it was a practice). They were screaming "FIRE!!!! FIIIIIRE!!! FIRE!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGH!!!!" over and over and over and I'm not kidding, it was literally MAYHEM. They were ALL, the WHOLE SCHOOL, knocking kids down, whacking people out of the way, screaming, punching, some of them crying wildly. It was mental. Your WORST fire nightmare if there was ever gonna be a fire in a school.

So they were BATTLING to get out of the only un-locked exit. Smoke was BILLOWING in the building, cos it's 30 degrees outside (86 F) so the windows were open and all the teachers in the English office (I'm the only foreign teacher) were giggling and SO excited.

We left about 15 mins after the alarm had sounded, cos it was way too crazy to try and get out while the kids were all fighting to get out of the one exit. T-shirts on our faces cos the smoke in the building was insane.

So, outside....

....the students AND teachers were running round like fuckin headless fuckin chickens. It was WILD. Screams, kids laying on the floor with black eyes, 2 broken arms, one of them went to hospital cos he got trampled (5 year old - we have kindergarten up to 19 year olds) but still, they're all loving it SICK.

Then Trang (head of English department) said "Ok, I have to go save a girl now!" brightly! All the English teachers clapped, as they do here. I'm like "What? Save who? Why?"

"Oh Miss Julia. It's OK. Don't you make the worrying. But some students have to pretend they are dying from the fire and Miss Trang will practice saving them."

Trang came back and we said she was quick (not that kids needed to pretend they were hurt, we actually did have kids who were hurt AND the chemicals they used to create the fire AT THE FRONT ENTRANCE that they'd LOCKED, was blowing into the building, as the fire had gone out, but the chemicals and smoke was making us all cough and feel sick) so I said to her "That was a quick save!" she replied "Oh, she saved herself. I don't know where she is."

Whatever that meant?

So THEN, like 10 minutes later, the youngest class of kindergarten kids mooch out the door. I'm like "WHAT!?!? You're all DEAD! You'd be DEAD!" the teacher's looking at me and giggling saying "We is having a nap. We no hear the alarm."

So that's the kindergarten fucked in an emergency! HA!!??!!

Then next minute, there's a camera crew with VTV (Viet TV) and Son, the P.E./Science/Swimming instructor who can't swim himself, goes PELTING down the road with a whistle (bear in mind next to our school is a hotel and some posh apartments and they're ALL out, watching the commotion) The kids are still running riot, some were going back in the building, NOBODY did ANY kind of head count or safety check to see if all people were there - it was just honestly, I can't describe to you the CHAOS. Kids running EVERYWHERE AND THE TEACHERS. SCREEEEAAAMING in exuberation.

So next minute, Son's coming back to the school with a fuckin "WOOOOO-OOOO! WOOOOO-OOOO!" behind him.......the fire brigade arrived..........!!!????????!!!!! I didn't even know Hanoi had a fire engine! ha!

There was no fire anymore, just chemical smoke.

The kids and teachers see the fire engines, the VTV cameras and go fuckin APE SHIT. They're going fuckin OFF. Screaming, waving, jumping, rugby tackling each other....the lady teachers are SQUEALING at the marital opportunity that has arisen (the firemen) they're putting on lipstick and literally SCREAMING like they were at a fuckin New Kids On the Block Concert. It was out of control.

Next minute (don't forget, windows are open on the school) they BLAST water from the VERY STRONG and POWERFUL hose, all over the front of the school.............all over us.

We were DRENCHED and some of the kids were falling over in the power of the edge of the blast that was SATURATING out classrooms.

This made everyone scream with DELIGHT! They were SO excited, it was like they were at some circus!?!?

They're cheering the fire brigade on....just mad.

Then they sprayed the apartments!?!? Then they sprayed it directly up in the air and it was POUNDING down on us. Like hard hail. Insane.

Then the fire brigade came forward and bowed, then left and that.........was our fire drill practice.

Camera coming soon

2010-04-26T08:08:00.000-07:00

My two wicked housemates have given me a camera!!! Only thing is it needs a wire to plug into my macbook & then WHOOSH! I'll be able to give you more visuals!

Until then, I'll leave you to dribble over this visual of a jiaozi (Chinese dumpling) necklace!

I LOVE jiaozi and have recently got my shit together to actually make them from scratch, which for me is a majorly mossive thang. For example, lots of people love very expensive perfumes (personally I don't), but imagine if you could just make it yourself! How would you feel? I don't know if that was a very good example, but I've seen chicks go mildly wild for designer whiffs, so in this morning state of coffee and a cookie (yah....they were just sitting there) that is the best comparison I could come up with. Personally, I go mad for a dumpling. So yes. Anyway.......here's a picture of a dumpling necklace for you to think whatever you want about and I'm going to finish my coffee then get on my mission for a camera chord.

Ok, here's a photo of my favourite dumplings in Taichung, Taiwan. Prawn filled.

Wanna Party

2010-04-22T18:01:00.000-07:00

This is a message I sent to my hot friend Miranda, who sent me these wicked tights (stockings) with "wanna" sewn down the back of one leg and "party" sewn down the other:

Oh, I forgot to tell you. I went out in the "wanna party" tights and BOY did they help me party!!!!! They caused such a commotion, it was hard not to neck margaritas!!! I ended up singing in a live band, screaming obscene things down the mic and it was SUPER fun!!! I did wake up IN my tights, 'wanna party' laying rather limply over the side of the bed in a house I don't remember arriving at!

Here's a link to the place she ordered them from, in case you feel like you WANNA PARTY:

http://www.houseofholland.co.uk/

I ❤ my Schwinn

2010-04-20T10:11:00.000-07:00

Here it is! My STUNNING 1972 Vintage Schwinn with glittery handlebugs!!!

Spoilt biatch?

2010-04-20T06:08:00.000-07:00

I've never considered myself a spoilt bitch, but living in Asia for the last 10 or so years certainly has made me as close to one as I'll ever be. $4 hour long massages between teas and coffees are something you really do take for granted. I just looked to see how much a 30 minute massage would be here in NY. $60 was the cheapest. Oh. Guess I'll go roll around on a couple of tennis balls.

Vintage bike

2010-04-18T09:04:00.001-07:00

~~Oh PLEEEEEASE let this vintage Schwinn be mine! Please! I've made a bid.....let's hope I get it.~~
YES YES!!! This bike is MINE! And I LOVE IT!!!! I'll take some better photos tomorrow when the sun's out.
HUGE smile on my face right now!!!

People

2010-04-18T08:21:00.000-07:00

I asked one of my classes, back in Hanoi, to do a piece of homework that we could put on the classroom's walls, to brighten the place up and for their parents to look at on parent/teacher day. This is what one of my 13 year olds came up with.

Hongover

2010-04-17T14:17:00.001-07:00

My cure is this magazine http://www.frankie.com.au/ with re-heated sausage spaghetti from yesterday. I'm itching for a coffee, but should I? Sometimes on a hongover it can ping me out. Water can also make me feel sick and I LOVE water usually.
I call a hangover a hongover cos I was living in Taiwan and 'hong' is a commonly used word over there and also a name. My friend Sally asked how I was when we were on Skype and I blurted out "hOngover" and we cracked up. The word stuck.

Fuck it, I think I'm gonna go the coffee!

My first post

2010-04-16T10:24:00.000-07:00

Well here we are, my first post. I've just come from a year of living in Hanoi in northern Vietnam and landed my arse in New York, where the air is Spring filled! I've brought with me my little WEINER DAWG, who seems to much prefer life here to the life he had in Vietnam, where I adopted him. His potential for ending up on the end of a BBQ stick was growing as the days neared my departure. He gave me one little crook of his head and I was done. Got his papers, health check, rabies jabs & here he is...next to me....a huge ordeal later. Happy as a bean in a bowl of chili.
Talking of which, my boyfriend and I have started a little organic veggie patch here in NY. We're planning on planting some herbs and vegetables. What do you think? Anyone got green fingers who could offer up any tips to a couple of beginners?
We've got:

large red cherry tomatoes
Alaska peas
cucumbers
grand rapids lettuce
and dark green zucchini squash.

Call me a nob, but I didn't know zucchini and squash were the same thing!? Perhaps not a great start to my garden!?

Either way, feel free to give me any advice you have on gardening!!! I just feel veggies are so expensive here and not even that great and we should be able to eat healthily cheaply.

I won't only be writing about my new interest in gardening, or yapping on about my darling dachshund. I'll also talk about other random stuff that interests me, fascinates me and also does my head in, such as fashion, food and differences in cultures and bizarre social behaviour. I might talk about music I'm listening to, or music I hate. I might even talk about what comes out of my arse, seen as it always seems to affect my day!

Either way, read away or navigate away......I'm going to go for a walk before the rain starts up again.