Fire?

Here are a couple of emails I sent out from ma days in Nam.  I've taught in many a fucked up scenario of a school, but this one seemed fairly 'normal', until we had our fire drill.....

At school today we're having out first ever fire alarm practice.  OH..........MY..........GOD.

When I asked "Oh, so, what do we do?  Where do we gather?"

One fellow teacher said "Practice to run!"

Then the head of my department told me that they're setting fire to some rubbish at the entrance to the school.  They're locking that door, so we all have to 'run' out of the side door.  A very small door it is.  At the side of the school.

SO.......they're actually going to MAKE A fire, light it outside the entrance of the school, lock the door & force us to squirm 200 kids and 50 teachers out of a side door.  In a country that doesn't have the word "queue" in it's vocabulary.

I told them that in most instances I'd presume a fire in a school might be in the science lab or kitchen.  Not out side at the front entrance.  They all looked at me blankly.

Then I said "What about if there's actually a fire one day?  The kids are all going to rush for the side entrance - the one that's 'between the kitchen and the science lab'.

Then I sent this, about the actual fire alarm itself:

Camera coming soon

My two wicked housemates have given me a camera!!!  Only thing is it needs a wire to plug into my macbook & then WHOOSH!  I'll be able to give you more visuals!

Until then, I'll leave you to dribble over this visual of a jiaozi (Chinese dumpling) necklace!  

I LOVE jiaozi and have recently got my shit together to actually make them from scratch, which for me is a majorly mossive thang.  For example, lots of people love very expensive perfumes (personally I don't), but imagine if you could just make it yourself!  How would you feel?  I don't know if that was a very good example, but I've seen chicks go mildly wild for designer whiffs, so in this morning state of coffee and a cookie (yah....they were just sitting there) that is the best comparison I could come up with.  Personally, I go mad for a dumpling.  So yes.  Anyway.......here's a picture of a dumpling necklace for you to think whatever you want about and I'm going to finish my coffee then get on my mission for a camera chord.

Ok, here's a photo of my favourite dumplings in Taichung, Taiwan.  Prawn filled.

Wanna Party

This is a message I sent to my hot friend Miranda, who sent me these wicked tights (stockings) with "wanna" sewn down the back of one leg and "party" sewn down the other:

Oh, I forgot to tell you. I went out in the "wanna party" tights and BOY did they help me party!!!!!  They caused such a commotion, it was hard not to neck margaritas!!!  I ended up singing in a live band, screaming obscene things down the mic and it was SUPER fun!!! I did wake up IN my tights, 'wanna party' laying rather limply over the side of the bed in a house I don't remember arriving at!


Here's a link to the place she ordered them from, in case you feel like you WANNA PARTY: 

http://www.houseofholland.co.uk/

I ❤ my Schwinn

Here it is!  My STUNNING 1972 Vintage Schwinn with glittery handlebugs!!!

Spoilt biatch?

I've never considered myself a spoilt bitch, but living in Asia for the last 10 or so years certainly has made me as close to one as I'll ever be.  $4 hour long massages between teas and coffees are something you really do take for granted.  I just looked to see how much a 30 minute massage would be here in NY.  $60 was the cheapest.  Oh.  Guess I'll go roll around on a couple of tennis balls.

Vintage bike

Oh PLEEEEEASE let this vintage Schwinn be mine!  Please!  I've made a bid.....let's hope I get it.
YES YES!!!  This bike is MINE!  And I LOVE IT!!!!  I'll take some better photos tomorrow when the sun's out.
HUGE smile on my face right now!!!

People

I asked one of my classes, back in Hanoi, to do a piece of homework that we could put on the classroom's walls, to brighten the place up and for their parents to look at on parent/teacher day.  This is what one of my 13 year olds came up with. 

Hongover

My cure  is this magazine http://www.frankie.com.au/ with re-heated sausage spaghetti from yesterday.  I'm itching for a coffee, but should I?  Sometimes on a hongover it can ping me out.    Water can also make me feel sick and I LOVE water usually.
I call a hangover a hongover cos I was living in Taiwan and 'hong' is a commonly used word over there and also a name.  My friend Sally asked how I was when we were on Skype and I blurted out "hOngover" and we cracked up.  The word stuck.


Fuck it, I think I'm gonna go the coffee!

My first post

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Well here we are,  my first post.  I've just come from a year of living in Hanoi in northern Vietnam and landed my arse in New York, where the air is Spring filled!  I've brought with me my little WEINER DAWG, who seems to much prefer life here to the life he had in Vietnam, where I adopted him.  His potential for ending up on the end of a BBQ stick was growing as the days neared my departure.  He gave me one little crook of his head and I was done.  Got his papers, health check, rabies jabs &  here he is...next to me....a huge ordeal later.  Happy as a bean in a bowl of chili.
Talking of which, my boyfriend and I have started a little organic veggie patch here in NY.  We're planning on planting some herbs and vegetables.  What do you think?  Anyone got green fingers who could offer up any tips to a couple of beginners?
We've got:

• large red cherry tomatoes
• Alaska peas
• cucumbers
• grand rapids lettuce 
• and dark green zucchini squash.  

Call me a nob, but I didn't know zucchini and squash were the same thing!?  Perhaps not a great start to my garden!?


Either way, feel free to give me any advice you have on gardening!!!  I just feel veggies are so expensive here and not even that great and we should be able to eat healthily cheaply.  


I won't only be writing about my new interest in gardening, or yapping on about my darling dachshund.  I'll also talk about other random stuff that interests me, fascinates me and also does my head in, such as fashion, food and differences in cultures and bizarre social behaviour.  I might talk about music I'm listening to, or music I hate.  I might even talk about what comes out of my arse, seen as it always seems to affect my day!


Either way, read away or navigate away......I'm going to go for a walk before the rain starts up again.