COLON CLEANSE!!! Yah....part 2

Well the cleanse has been going great so far, I have to say!  To be honest, I've completely forgotten what day I'm on of it, I think my fourth?  I've been feeling so good that I kind of forgot to take note of things, have been staying pretty much away from the computer, and spending more time doing outdoorsy things.
Suffice to say, my lethargy is GONE.

So on Wednesday, I think it was day two.  I was feeling not too great.  I went to the loo and did an unsatisfactory shit and spent the rest of the day feeling very tired and almost woozy.  I did, though, go out into the sun a couple of times and ride my bike to town, which is only a few minutes away, but it does say in the leaflet and on the CD that comes with Perfect Cleanse, that you should relax, do "light" exercise and pretty much take it easy for the duration.  They do point out that the first couple of days you may feel light headed and tired.  So I felt it was OK. 

WEDNESDAY
Ok, so for breakfast I ate the same as before; Greek yoghurt, almonds, raisins and pumpkin seeds.
For lunch my boyfriend and I went to the health food store and ate from their fabulous vegetarian buffet there.  For dinner I used Moonglowlounge's Poached Orange Roughy in a Veggie Broth w/ Edamame & Mint recipe with a green salad.  Stunning.

I took the pills in the evening, as you're supposed to, but I felt suddenly very nauseous and sleepy.  It was only 7pm.  I tried to stay awake, but the headache that suddenly pinged into my head was unbearable and I didn't want to take any pills for it, because that would defy the whole point of the bloody detox.  So I passed out and woke up in time for the fabulous heat breaking storm we had around midnight.  I didn't sleep well at all that night.  My stomach was bloated like a dairy cow's udders, my boobs were swollen and my night slip wouldn't fit over my stomach, I was that bloated.  And I knew it was all water retention.  I woke every hour on the hour and had to do these almighty pees.

Ah, and yes, I pumped, PUMPED, water throughout the entire day.   I think I drank at least 14 cups of water.

THURSDAY
Even though I didn't sleep at all, I still got up at 7am and by 8am I'd done a somewhat satisfying round of bowel movements.  There were three, all within the space of about 10 minutes and they were a wild array of colours!  Ha!
That excited me.  Instantly I felt better.  My stomach had flattened to a normal state and I ate my usual breakfast of Greek yoghurt etc.  For lunch yesterday I wasn't at home, we were out and about (see, I didn't sleep, but I was out and about and feeling great!) so we stopped at.....Moe's.  Ahem.  Yah.  BUT!  I got a vegetarian junior burrito, ate half of it (cos at Moe's that really is all you need - if you have the self control!)
By the time I got home, I got that stuffed up feeling again, like I needed to shit.  So I had half a glass of prune juice to help things along and fuck did it help!  HAARGH!  I swear to fuckery, I did 4 more poops of varying colour and consistency.  To see all of that coming out....woh....sorry.....but guys, it really does excite me and make me want to scream out loud that everyone should do a colon cleanse!!!!!!!
All that rank shit built up inside you, making you sloth like, lethargic, probably stale breathed and just not really feeling that good.  Also, making your tummy, arms, boobs (if you have boobs!), thighs or even your face appear bloated.  Honestly.....I was shocked at what came out of me and I'm glad it did!

I then decided to not do too much physical stuff and went to the park near my house and sunbathed for a while.  Basically, I had a very cruisey rested kinda day.  Hung out on the veranda and chatted with friends.  Didn't spend much time on the computer at all.

So then it came to dinner time.  I was kind of dreading taking the pills and drinking the fibre, because of how rank it'd made me feel the day before.  For dinner I had the other half of ma Moe's and with it I had a big green salad with an avocado thrown in there for good measure.
I felt a little gross after drinking the fibre drink, which you drink after your meal.  But after half an hour or so I felt great again!
By 11pm I was ready to take my little dog for a nice walk around the hood!  Don't forget, I really didn't sleep that night, yet still felt spritely enough for an 11pm stroll!  So in my eyes, the detox is doing great!

No sleep, yet feeling fabulous!

So now it's Friday.  I slept very well from about midnight, then woke at 5am feeling healthier than a shot of wheat grass!!!
I've had breakfast and a warmed half glass of prune juice.  I just think it extra helps.  I'm a super constipated little bitch, so fuck it.  And I've done some reading and it seems it's quite common for people to do this on a colon cleanse.  After all, the aim is to get it out naturally.


So it's Memorial Day weekend, which, if memory serves me well and going by the amount of people who've emailed me and said they'll be seeing me this weekend for my BBQ (!!??!!), means there's gonna be quite a bit of "SIN" going on.  So this little ho's gonna get her party boots on.  Cos sometimes I find it too hard to say no.

So tonight I'll not take the pills etc.  I'll not do any partying or consume anything over glutinous and I certainly won't drink any booze, cos I'm scared I'd straight up shit myself in my faux leather pants!  But I will surely be taking part in the BBQ and S'mores and so on and no doubt a Margarita here and there over Saturday through Monday!  So I'll continue the detox another time.

Is that lame?  I don't care!!!!!!!

Romeo & Juliette: If Juliette had a sassy gay friend

Fuckin hillarious!

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COLON CLEANSE!!! Yah....

So I've started doing this cleanse already, but was inspired by moonglowlounge to 'roughly' document it on here.  I'm on my second day.  I take the pills at night and then all day I pump water and try to eat as healthily as possible, and I've been eating pretty small sized portions also.

I'm using Perfect Cleanse, a product I've read about and was advised to use by the lady at the health food store.  There are so many to choose from, I kind of just went for it.  I've read good and bad reviews about it and have just decided that like tattoos, our different body types deal with healing in different ways.
When I started using this, it was after a LOOOOOONG week of partying and all sorts of rambunctious behaviour.  I also had a serious case of not being able to shit, which was in turn giving me water retention from HELL.  Which in turn again turned me into a bitch from Hell.
This always happens to me when I visit western countries.  Especially America, where I get all excited about things like bacon and cheese and fuckin Dunkin Donuts and parties and parties and burgers and meat and parties!  oh, and OH, the MEXICAN food!

It's just a shock to my system after living in Asia for so many years.  I enjoy the binge, but there's gotta be a time to stop.  I chose that time when I couldn't fit into one of my dresses, not because I don't exercise regularly and pump water at the rate of a wild banshee, I just retained so much water that it had all sorts of effects of my constitution, but the parties kept partying and I had to have an excuse to say no! So I chose a colon cleanse.  


Anyway!  Enough of that.  Here's what's happened so far:


Night one, I took the pills, slept.  Woke up still feeling full of shite (some people might say that's a given!) But I could feel some things going on down in my gut.  Not painful!  But definite gassy sensations.  I knew my condition was pretty bad as far as being bunged up was concerned, and Perfect Cleanse claims to be a gentle way of doing this.  So I presumed I was too much for the little darling and needed some more work!


So, at breakfast I ate a banana, almonds and a dollop of Greek yoghurt.  I think I'm not supposed to do dairy, but fuck.  It was a dollop.

I cut out my rudimentary morning coffee (AAAARRRRGH!!!)
And am doing as it advises in the leaflet and on the website and am pumping water.  I'm lucky here, I get the fresh spring water from the.......spring!  I go fill up 3 huge bottle things every week.  So it's super healthy clean and pure water.  


At lunch I ate boiled jiaozi.  Leftovers from yesterday.  I'd put them in the fridge and couldn't bare to see them go to waste!  They were full of cabbage, so presumed it wasn't such a bad thing? (How can jiaozi be a bad thing!)

I then snacked on a mango in the afternoon.



For dinner I ate a green salad with spinach in there, some carrot, onion, raisins and almonds, with a little lemon and olive oil drizzled on it.

I pumped water throughout.


I've woken this morning after peeing all night long.  I think I got up every 2 hours.  I've got a 'sparrow's bladder' as my Grandad used to tell me!  So this is no surprise, and I was honestly hooning water like it was going out of fashion.  I woke this morning feeling kind of tired cos of the amount of times I got up and pissed, but I honestly felt way more spritely than I have these last few weeks.  I haven't shat yet, which is sorely disappointing, BUT, a lot of my water retention has gone and I'm feeling and looking very different!  I'm not doing this to lose weight, I don't need to.  I exercise regularly and seem to have a very high metabolism.  But I honestly couldn't fit a dress over me yesterday due to rank bloating and today I tried it on and it slipped over me beautifully!


So....I guess it's doing something, right?


Either way, it's forcing me into being healthier and more conscious about what I'm consuming.  That in itself is a good thing!


I'll update on what happens today later.  I hope you enjoyed reading about my colon.  HAAARGH!  But honestly, so far, I'm feeling pretty great!


I'm off for a bike ride with my dog before the sun gets too hot!

Oh me it's All-Mighty

Very much want this wicked outfit.  I love a clash case, such as this Mighty Man T-shirt & floral waist high skirt.

Jiaozi-licious recipe!

Ok, so I finally got to making them.  I took photos, but as you'll see as you read on - they're pretty ugly, but I just want to share this (and probably more in the future) recipe with you, because as you can tell, I am fuckin obsessed with dumplings.

I will warn that this process does take some time and patience the first couple of times you do it, but it's utterly worth it in the end when you're shoveling them down your throat.  And I have to say, seeing them bobbing around the boiling water, then sliding into the bowl, just like I used to see them do in China and Taiwan, makes me wanna piss myself with joy.

These are cabbage jiaozi that I made, but don't forget you could substitute that with any meat you like or whatever filling you like!
My friend and her Tibetan fella were making cheese and broccoli dumplings, another friend has them as a sweet and stuffs them with chocolate then pours cream all over them!  So do with this recipe as you fancy.

Ok, here goes...

Ingredients


For the dough

• 3 cups all purpose flour
• up to 1 1/4 cups of water
• 1/4 teaspoon of salt

For the filling

• a chunk of cabbage
• 1/4 of an onion
• 3 garlic cloves
• ginger to taste
• salt & pepper to taste
• 1 tbl spoon Hoi Sin sauce
• 1 tbl spoon rice wine vinegar (or balsamic or red sherry vin. works fine)
• 1 tspn of soy sauce

The dipping sauce

• soy sauce
• Hoi Sin sauce
• chili oil
• sesame oil
• rice wine vinegar
• garlic
• ginger

Method to my ways!

Ok, so first off make the dough.  Put the flour and salt in a big mixing bowl, or whatever you've got.  SLOWLY stir in the water.  Try one cup first, maybe you'll need a little more, but don't exceed 1 1/4 cups as the dough will be too sticky.

As you're stirring (I do mine by hand, don't have a mixer) it should look something like this:

When you've finished stirring, flour the work surface well where you'll be kneading it.  Gather the mix in your hands and shape it into a kind of circle.  Then place it on the floured surface and knead it until it's smooth.  Something like this:

As you can see, mine wasn't entirely 'smooth', but I was hungry and wanted to get on with it.  My point is, don't stress about any of it.  It's piss easy.

Ok, so place a cloth over the bowl and set it aside.


Now to make the filling.
Cut off a chunk of cabbage.  I'd say just less than a quarter of one.  You don't need too much filling as the amount you can put in each dumpling is very little.
Cut the cabbage into think slices, turn it sideways and cut across, making small teeny tiny pieces.  You want the filling to be chopped as finely as you can tolerate standing there chopping for!
Do the same with the garlic, onion and ginger.  Throw it all in the bowl.  Mix in the Hoi Sin sauce, soy sauce, vinegar, salt and pepper.  Give it a good stir.  It should look something like this:

(Told you my photos weren't pretty! HA!)

Right, so now take the dough.  Put it on a floured surface and make a rectangle with it, about an inch and a half thick I suppose.  Then cut it into about 5 pieces.
Put four pieces aside and roll out one of them to make a big circle.  This bit's quite annoying, cos you want the dough to be as thin as you can be arsed to make it.  It pays if it's really thin though, the jiaozi taste so much less floury and doughy and more authentically thin and lush.  But if you're planning on frying them, you can afford to make them a little thicker if you wish.
Then take a small glass of something with a circle on it that can cut into the dough.  Not too big!!!  Just about the size of the palm of your hand, no bigger!  Like this:

Cut out the circles and put them in a floured pile:

Now you should start feeling like a proper old Chinese lady or man and are getting excited about stuffing them.

After you've finished cutting out as many circles as you can bear, take the mixture you made for the filling.  Take just less than half a tea spoon, place it in the middle of a disc.  Pinch the middle two ends of the dumpling, then pinch the left edge, then the right.  Then continue to pinch it so it's properly sealed.  I couldn't take photos of that cos it takes two hands.  Sorry.  But here's what they look like after the stuffing!

Now you have jiaozi!

To boil cook them simply boil up a big saucepan of water, drop them in gently one at a time.  Boil them for about 4 mins, or until they're bobbing on the surface!

To shallow fry them (I learnt this in Taiwan) heat a frying pan or wok up on a high heat.  Pour in some oil, not too much (vegetable oil or sesame oil) gently drop the dumplings in and hear them ssssizzle.  Let them sit there for a minute, then pour in 1/4 a cup of water.  Put the lid on.  Cook for about 5 mins bringing them down to a medium heat until water evaporates & dumplings are nicely browned underneath.  This way they crisp on the underside and steam on top.  It's VERY yummy!

Or you could just drop them in a deep fat fryer I guess?!

For the dip you can use whatever you like.  Personally I like a spicy tangy sauce, so I put soy sauce, Hoi Sin sauce, rice wine vinegar (or lime), chopped garlic, chopped ginger, a dash of sesame oil and a lot of chili oil in a small bowl.
Alternatively you can use Sriracha hot chili sauce with some soy sauce.  I do that when I don't have the other ingredients.



Well, I hope you have a go at making these soon!  It's fun to do alone, but also I like getting my friends involved.  Kind of like a Jiaozi Making Train.

Either way get yer chopsticks out and enjoy!


(This recipe was adapted from worldfoodieguide)

Dumpling reminder

Today IS the day.  I've finally gotten my shit together and am making my dear dumplings/jiaozi/pot stickers!  I'll take pics as I go and write down the recipe etc., cos I think everyone needs a dumpling in their lives.
Here's another picture of  some divinely steamed pork jiaozi from our local steaming jiaozi shop in Taiwan.  Unfortunately I don't have any from China as I didn't have a camera in those days :-(

Words

Here are a some words I think have lost their gusto due to over usage:

• awsome
• epic
• amped
• sooooo excited
• love
• bipolar

Strong enough?

Since being in America, the land of my lover, I seem to be dissatisfied with only one thing so far.

Coffee.

Lili, a friend of mine in Vietnam (who knows her taste buds) did say that I would be unsatisfied with the weak shit they'd serve up here, and me, being defensive, argued that that wasn't the case.

Hmmmmm.  I can be such a prick.

A first I was impressed, as B (my boyfriend) had a bag of stunning Peruvian coffee his mum had brought back with her from her travels to S.America.  YUM!  But then we ran out.  Shit.  But I remembered I'd bought a kilo of coffee beans at Cafe Duy Tri just before I left Nam, so whipped out the stunning sack of dark yum, threw the beans into the grinder and for a month we had nice, strong, brain bending cups of coffee.

Now it's run out.  Poop.

So, anyone got any advice on where to get decent coffee here in the good ol' U.S. of A?  Because I refuse to believe I can't get any.

Anyway, I'll leave you with this visual of me & one of my fave glasses of Viet coffee served up at Cafe Nola.....icey, strong as fuckery, sweet & quite pretty!
In Vietnam, along with many other countries such as Laos, Venezuela & Thailand, coffee's served drip styles, takes like 10 minutes.  It's thick, dark & syrupy and a dollop of sweet condensed milk is left sitting at the bottom, which you stir in until it's sweet enough for you.  You can see this in the picture below and the yummy froth on top.  Sweet caffeinated deliciousness!

Farmers Market

Today I rode my bike to the Saratoga Springs farmers market and bought some stunning fresh food for really not a lot of money.  Among the goods I bought (which included a freshly laid today pack of a dozen eggs for ONE DOLLAR) I purchased these rather pretty rainbow carrots!

I also think making your own compost is super cool! I keep mine in a pretty glass jar on the side of the kitchen counter, so even the laziest bastards can fling their egg shells, banana skins, coffee, hair cuttings and whatever else in there for me to put in the compost bin.

Worms fall from the sky guy

My housemate came home the other night from visiting his mum on Mother's Day.  Personally I don't go for all that crap.  I know I don't have a mum anymore, but even when I did, she thought it was a bunch of Hallmark bullshit and that was the end of that.

Anyway.

So my housemate came home and said his sister and  her boyfriend/father of her child, were there.  I asked what the boyfriend/father of the kid was like and he said that first off he's into some kind of "religion" where they think they have invisible bar codes on the back of their necks.  They believe when "the time cometh" that the people without the barcodes will be fucked and they, with barcodes, will waltz into Heaven with gift vouchers!
I made the gift vouchers thing up, but you catch my drift.
I asked "Religion or cult?"
He replied "Whatever, it's weird."
Then he said "Oh yeah, and there're some things I find really annoying about him.  Just little things."
(LITTLE THINGS)
"Like what?"  I asked.
He then goes on to tell me how this guy (his soon to be brother in law) thinks that when it rains, worms fall from the sky.

Oh?

My friend said that he's argued this with him till he's blue in the face, but there's no telling this guy that worms are in the ground and it's just that when it rains they surface.
No.  This guy is adamant that they fall from the sky.

And then my housemate got on with his food and acted as if this was just a little annoying thing and that apart from the cult, the worms falling from the sky and the other apparently 'little annoying things' he believes or does, are just the norm.

Are they!?

How would you feel if your sister was seeing this guy?

Love you LONG time

How could I not share this?

Lacroix! HOW MUCH?

The best $2.50 I ever spent in Hanoi was in a second hand store on Xuan Dieu Street.  It was on these vintage Christian Lacroix heels.  So no matter where you are, keep yer eyes open, cos you never know what you'll find. 
I love them sick.

(Note to self: learn how to remove date from camera.  It's ugly.)

Poodle Skirt Obsession

I've been rockin around in this little number for the last........YEAR.  It's just too comfortable and groovy and damn fuckin HOT not to!

The skirt's an exact remake of a vintage poodle skirt I wore to death.  I had it made in Vietnam, so only cost about $3.00, but I'm sure you could find someone to help you, if you can't do it yourself.  I think most chicks need more than one wicked swirly poodle skirt.

The little heels I bought at a vintage store in Arizona somewhere.  They're Italian and leather and woven and gorgeous!

And the black and gold fat chain......ummmmmmm.....sorry, got that at TJ Max.  Reduced from $44 to $14.

(sometimes I switch the heels for causal rubber flip flops or little white ping pong trainers/sneakers)

Anyway!  My point is that I think everyone should have a go at wearing a poodle skirt!  They're pretty, they're comfortable, they're easy to tuck into your knickers when you're on the bicycle, they're great for pulling up between your legs so no-one can see your breakfast when getting your leg over a motorbike or fence, they're great for getting off a bus on a long journey and peeing by the side of the road without the locals clocking anything, they're girly, tough, fabulous, airy, casual, classy AND they just look FUCKIN PRETTY!

Dumplings COMING UP!

Ok, I have a camera, so this week I'll be making Chinese dumplings (my beloved jiaozi) & will photograph the entire thing!
And yes, I'll be making them from scratch, and I mean I'll be making the dough WITHOUT a ruddy mixer.
For now I'll leave you with a pretty visual to drool over:

I ❤ my dog & my bike