Well the cleanse has been going great so far, I have to say! To be honest, I've completely forgotten what day I'm on of it, I think my fourth? I've been feeling so good that I kind of forgot to take note of things, have been staying pretty much away from the computer, and spending more time doing outdoorsy things.
Suffice to say, my lethargy is GONE.
So on Wednesday, I think it was day two. I was feeling not too great. I went to the loo and did an unsatisfactory shit and spent the rest of the day feeling very tired and almost woozy. I did, though, go out into the sun a couple of times and ride my bike to town, which is only a few minutes away, but it does say in the leaflet and on the CD that comes with Perfect Cleanse, that you should relax, do "light" exercise and pretty much take it easy for the duration. They do point out that the first couple of days you may feel light headed and tired. So I felt it was OK.
WEDNESDAY
Ok, so for breakfast I ate the same as before; Greek yoghurt, almonds, raisins and pumpkin seeds.
For lunch my boyfriend and I went to the health food store and ate from their fabulous vegetarian buffet there. For dinner I used Moonglowlounge's Poached Orange Roughy in a Veggie Broth w/ Edamame & Mint recipe with a green salad. Stunning.
I took the pills in the evening, as you're supposed to, but I felt suddenly very nauseous and sleepy. It was only 7pm. I tried to stay awake, but the headache that suddenly pinged into my head was unbearable and I didn't want to take any pills for it, because that would defy the whole point of the bloody detox. So I passed out and woke up in time for the fabulous heat breaking storm we had around midnight. I didn't sleep well at all that night. My stomach was bloated like a dairy cow's udders, my boobs were swollen and my night slip wouldn't fit over my stomach, I was that bloated. And I knew it was all water retention. I woke every hour on the hour and had to do these almighty pees.
Ah, and yes, I pumped, PUMPED, water throughout the entire day. I think I drank at least 14 cups of water.
THURSDAY
Even though I didn't sleep at all, I still got up at 7am and by 8am I'd done a somewhat satisfying round of bowel movements. There were three, all within the space of about 10 minutes and they were a wild array of colours! Ha!
That excited me. Instantly I felt better. My stomach had flattened to a normal state and I ate my usual breakfast of Greek yoghurt etc. For lunch yesterday I wasn't at home, we were out and about (see, I didn't sleep, but I was out and about and feeling great!) so we stopped at.....Moe's. Ahem. Yah. BUT! I got a vegetarian junior burrito, ate half of it (cos at Moe's that really is all you need - if you have the self control!)
By the time I got home, I got that stuffed up feeling again, like I needed to shit. So I had half a glass of prune juice to help things along and fuck did it help! HAARGH! I swear to fuckery, I did 4 more poops of varying colour and consistency. To see all of that coming out....woh....sorry.....but guys, it really does excite me and make me want to scream out loud that everyone should do a colon cleanse!!!!!!!
All that rank shit built up inside you, making you sloth like, lethargic, probably stale breathed and just not really feeling that good. Also, making your tummy, arms, boobs (if you have boobs!), thighs or even your face appear bloated. Honestly.....I was shocked at what came out of me and I'm glad it did!
I then decided to not do too much physical stuff and went to the park near my house and sunbathed for a while. Basically, I had a very cruisey rested kinda day. Hung out on the veranda and chatted with friends. Didn't spend much time on the computer at all.
So then it came to dinner time. I was kind of dreading taking the pills and drinking the fibre, because of how rank it'd made me feel the day before. For dinner I had the other half of ma Moe's and with it I had a big green salad with an avocado thrown in there for good measure.
I felt a little gross after drinking the fibre drink, which you drink after your meal. But after half an hour or so I felt great again!
By 11pm I was ready to take my little dog for a nice walk around the hood! Don't forget, I really didn't sleep that night, yet still felt spritely enough for an 11pm stroll! So in my eyes, the detox is doing great!
No sleep, yet feeling fabulous!
So now it's Friday. I slept very well from about midnight, then woke at 5am feeling healthier than a shot of wheat grass!!!
I've had breakfast and a warmed half glass of prune juice. I just think it extra helps. I'm a super constipated little bitch, so fuck it. And I've done some reading and it seems it's quite common for people to do this on a colon cleanse. After all, the aim is to get it out naturally.
So it's Memorial Day weekend, which, if memory serves me well and going by the amount of people who've emailed me and said they'll be seeing me this weekend for my BBQ (!!??!!), means there's gonna be quite a bit of "SIN" going on. So this little ho's gonna get her party boots on. Cos sometimes I find it too hard to say no.
So tonight I'll not take the pills etc. I'll not do any partying or consume anything over glutinous and I certainly won't drink any booze, cos I'm scared I'd straight up shit myself in my faux leather pants! But I will surely be taking part in the BBQ and S'mores and so on and no doubt a Margarita here and there over Saturday through Monday! So I'll continue the detox another time.
Is that lame? I don't care!!!!!!!
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